I honestly don't even know what to say about this week. This has been the worst week I've experienced in my whole mission.
My companion that I was assigned that I knew I needed to help, wouldn't let me in for anything, shut me out and turned to Hermana P------ for comfort and help. It started to get ugly so president put them together and I adopted Hermana P------'s daughter. Hermana C------d. Well, its been like world war three: Latinas against Hermana Younce. I've cried more this week than I have in my whole mission. It's been awful. But I've been trying to just keep my cool, be patient, and be strong so that I can feel the spirit. Its been really hard. I dread going home at night because the second I walk through the door I just feel cold, and gross and I can't feel the spirit at all in my own house! I hated feeling like this, so I went to Hermana P------ and I said "Hermana P------ really I am so sorry for whatever I have done or said to hurt you. I don't want you to have pain in your heart and I want us to be able to have peace and love in our home. So please forgive me for whatever I have done. I truly am sorry." She didn't even look at me let alone say anything so I just walked out of the room and that was it. The catty things they say, the looks they give... I can't hold on any more. I couldn't hold on anymore like 5 days ago, but I know that right now the Lord is holding on for me. The president knows everything and he said changes will be made this week. So hopefully the changes are permanent and I can focus and move on. I really just need to be strong and trust in the Lord, in his timing, and is his plan. And I know that everything will be okay. I need to remember that I am a missionary for the Lord Jesus Christ and I am here preaching the Gospel of Love, and if I don't have love in my heart, I am a hypocrite. So I am just trying to love, keep my cool and be patient for the good to come. I thought I was done dealing with evil snotty girls when I graduated high school… they weren't kidding when they said that they're EVERYWHERE.
On the other hand Hermana C------d is awesome! And I hope that we stay together. If not I know that what happens is what the lord wants for me.
I'm so burnt out I don't really have the energy or the drive to write anymore or to write anyone back. So I am sorry if I don't reply to your email. But I love you all and I am so grateful for the love you have shown me. It's literally my saving grace right now.kissesHermana Younce